My reading for today was from Matthew 26:30-46. This was another “Imagine yourself in the scene” activity. I chose it today because it’s the first reading of Week 6. I’ve followed Jesus and his best friends to Gethsemane. I’m not sure why I’m here. I feel a bit like I’m encroaching on private friends’ time and maybe I should leave. I suppose my curiosity is overcoming my sense of propriety.
Jesus asks his friends to keep watch before going to pray. They fall asleep, which means they don’t notice me and chase me away. Jesus sounds upset, like every revolutionary ever. He has a mission that frustrates and angers and exhausts him, but he feels too strongly about it, identifies too strongly with it, to quit, despite the inherent dangers of being a revolutionary. So he’s having an especially bad day, which makes sense if someone tipped him off that he’ll be arrested today. Apparently it wasn’t his best friends; I can’t imagine they’d fall asleep if they expect he will be arrested today.
And three’s the charm. After Jesus’ third prayer, he concludes, I suppose, that it’s best to stop hiding in the garden and get on with whatever is going to happen next. I stay hidden while they leave the garden. His friends look groggy, confused, maybe frustrated by his endless riddles. Better them than me; I’m bad at riddles and worse at subtlety.
I feel sorry for Jesus, and for every other revolutionary who prays for a better world for everyone, especially the most marginalized, when they are doubting themselves. I feel far sorrier for those doing the marginalizing, that they are so out of touch with the world, maybe due to unhealed trauma, past pain or loss, or some other thing that hinders their self-awareness and awareness of the pain they cause others.
I struggle with being aware of others and of my effect on them. However, if someone points out how I hurt them or someone else, I contemplate their words. Then I make an effort to mitigate the harm. Often this means minding my words in the future, maybe an apology in the moment, something easy to do and easy to remember. I wish my country’s leaders would do at least that much.
The image below is of two horses from the Danish card game, Bella Sara. Paris is the armored horse on the left. Wildflower, the pony on the right, has flowers in her mane and tail. This pair feels appropriate for a Gethsemane scene. Read more about this pair on deviantArt.
This post is part of my Lent 2025 Imaginative Readings series.
